When someone begins to cry, I feel helpless. I want to touch and hold – but sometimes it’s not appropriate or wanted. I want to understand – but it’s usually not a good time to talk too much. And sometimes I want to fix – but many times nothing is actually broken as much as things are out of kilter or emotions simply have built up and need to erupt – a good cry is in order!
Someone else’s tears makes me hurt badly. I was with a lady recently who was crying when I arrived and I had to leave her crying. She was hurting, mourning, and feeling sad for herself. Unfortunately, she cries much of the time by herself and with others. If only there had been something that I could have done to relieve her of her pain. I was with someone else recently and – after we had been talking for awhile about a common situation – her crying began. She didn’t want to be touched, held, talked to, or even noticed. It hurt me to not be able to immediately help but I also knew that whatever it was all about, it was hurting her more than me so I figured I needed to lay low for awhile. I wasn’t sure what to do other than to be available, if needed. After 30 min or so, we were able to get back on track and nothing else was said about the sad time. I hope I didn’t let her down somehow.
Crying is as much an emotion as laughing. When someone laughs – I want to laugh with them. Likewise, I am getting to where when someone cries – I want to cry with them. I enjoy your happiness, but I empathize with your pain, too. Let’s laugh and cry together, okay?