It’s been awhile.
There isn’t going to be a writing resurrection of any kind here but for some reason I wanted to post a few words this evening to add to the din of words that already exist in your world. Consider my words more racket to filter.
It’s a week away from Christmas. I’m not sure what I will be doing. I’m glad that so many seem to have a nice time during this time of year – it can be special. Context is everything, isn’t it? A day on a calendar doesn’t mean much of anything but if one attaches traditions, beliefs, memories, or relationships to a day then a calendar day can become very special for some. Good for everyone.
Well, since we talked last there have been more divorces, weddings, funerals, new babies, new jobs, very happy people, very angry people, classes, tragic world news, silly newsmakers, lunches, dinners, movies, vet visits, trips, patients, professors, trash mail, and so much more. The thing is, once a person (like me) gets over the newness of living in new ways then one realizes that it happens all the time and everywhere and it always has and it always will. This being the case, my story isn’t much different than the thousands and millions that swirl around us all the time.
You know, though? I kind of like how things work out. There was a time not too many months ago when I felt I needed to tell my story – probably more for my sake than anyone else’s. But now, anonymity is my friend and companion. In fact, I find a comfort and solace in not being seen, heard, or otherwise noticed. I find I need very little acknowledgement or notice to do what I feel and need to be doing. Instead of being analyzed, rated, or compared to what others do, I can pursue my dreams and hopes without worrying or wondering about what someone else is thinking. It’s actually quite freeing.
I’m doing okay. It’s just different. Still. I’m happy to know that I no longer stand in the way of anyone else’s success or failure. I don’t have to guide or lead nor do I have to be looked at and considered. Perhaps this might change in the future but for right now – where I am – I can do with the small support system I have around me and what I am doing for myself and a few others.
I hope you are well this Christmas season.