Avoiding It

The holidays (and my anniversary) are coming up. This is not a particularly nice time of year for me – or at least it hasn’t been for the last two years. It’s not your problem and don’t worry about it but as much as I like the lights, colors, and sounds of Oct, Nov, and Dec, I kind of wish I could skip through to Jan 1. But, I know it is a special time for others so I wouldn’t deny them their enjoyment.

I’ve felt the last few months that I might decorate up and try to get into things this holiday season but I’ve about decided that it wouldn’t feel right yet so I think I’ll forgo the festivities again this year. I have some concert tickets that I will enjoy and a few other plans with some friends and family, but that will about be it.

I was at a restaurant yesterday with some friends. I knew the waitress and she knew me. Our group was rather large so the waitress was getting the bills organized and sorted and, somehow, I was the one she had missed in her head count. She, without thinking, looked at me and said, “Oh, you’re the one alone and by yourself.” As she said it, she knew what she had done (she knows my story) and she became pretty apologetic. Of course, it wasn’t a big deal but for a few moments there, and for her and me, it all came rolling back. We worked it out and things were fine but…

This is how it is now. I guess I prefer to continue to be an avoider.

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