It Hurts

changeThank you, Rob, for your words yesterday from the Book of Job. And I 100%, unequivocally, absolutely, and emphatically agree with your thoughts on dealing with grief. Fact is, and as you said, hurt is hurt and there are not words or actions that will ever adequately fill the void left by loss. Even faith and Scripture doesn’t fix things, as some would like to think and often attempt to patronizingly and pedantically vocalize. Rather, these things are meaningful and healthy methods given to us by God that can and should be used to help us cope with wounds over time. Understand, however, that pain and scars will never go away completely, fully, and totally in this life as if they had never existed.

Because of your words, several people spoke with me yesterday about dealing with grief. One individual observed with me that we like to talk about, prepare, discuss ad nauseam (his words) and have parties for babies but we go out of our way to not discuss the process of dying and death.  I assured him that having babies is a fine thing and that we shouldn’t be too hard on anyone but, yes, we view the transition from eternity into life as a time of human celebration but we view the transition from human life back into eternity as a time of human loss. But then, it kind of makes sense, doesn’t it? We like it here (it’s okay – it’s nice here!) so coming in is a good thing but we sure get hung up on leaving, don’t we?

In times of grief, there is nothing better a caregiver can do than to listen (if anything is even being said) and be present. After awhile, something will need to be discussed but dying is one ailment that does not have a quick-fix in this life so it takes time to process. Death should be grieved because it is a curse, it hurts, and it destroys. Death – in any way one tries to spin it – is a horrible thing.

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