A new movie came out last week. There was much fanfare in the media about the new movie. Promises of amazement and amusement for viewers was made by the movie’s studio. The expense to promote the film was only exceeded by the exorbitant cost of making this particular movie. Wow! But of course, the amount of money spent on producing and promoting a movie does not necessarily make a movie a good movie. For the most part, fans decide if a movie is good or not. There might be some critical acclaim for a movie – this is code for meaning that there are some snotty writers who think that they know more about or can see something in the movie that we don’t. Somehow they think they know better than the 221 million people in the U.S. and Canada who go to movies in a year. What a movie studio thinks about their movie after release is probably and is sometimes very different than what you or I might think about a movie. Studios and you and I probably have a very different set of standards for deciding whether a movie is really awesome or really a dud! I guess.
Anyway, I was curious about this movie so I went to a matinee on opening weekend. A lot of other people said they were going to see the movie. Turns out, the theater was quite full when I got there – lots of kids and parents. And there is no question that the movie kept people in their seats for over two hours – no one left the theater during the whole thing. I could hear kids and parents gasping, laughing, oohing, and aahing in enjoyment during the movie. As a matter of fact, quite a few people clapped when the movie was over and the credits began to roll. I’m really confused about how I feel about the movie. Look at all of these happy people. I wasn’t feeling quite the same way. What did I miss?
One of my friends later went to the movie. Literally, this is the texted report from someone who described my friend’s take on the movie:
“She loved it! Came back gushing. She likes all movies geared towards children even if they are awful.”
Then some other friends went to the movie. Here is what one of them texted me:
“Why didn’t you warn us? It was awful! They made so much money because they advertised it like a darker movie. The CGI was too much. They owe me two hours. FRIENDS DON’T LET FRIENDS WALK INTO MOVIES LIKE THAT.”
Another friend in the same party tweeted me this succinct review:
“It was truly awful.”
No. Really. What do the two of you honestly think?
(By the way, CGI means ‘computer generated imagery’. Many movie studios use CGI today in place of real sets, characters, or events. Basically, what looks like a space ship that’s being attacked by green aliens in the movie is nothing more than the product of a really good artsy computer programmer who has pieced together thousands and thousands of frames of computer-generated images to make the movie scene.)
Listen. Here’s my problem – I want all of my friends to like me a whole bunch and I may not want to tell them what I really think about the movie because if I do then they may not like me anymore. And since some of my friends liked the movie and some didn’t, now what do I do? Do you understand my problem? Keep a few of the friends and get rid of the rest of them because we all don’t agree? I know – I can tell some of my friends one thing and keep them happy and I will tell my other friends something different to keep them happy, too. And then I will hope that they never talk with each other about the movie and what I thought of the movie. And we will all be happy, right? Right?
Let me tell you something, if you’ll listen. Truth be told, I really worry about what people think of me. I try to act all big but there isn’t much behind it – all bark but no bite. I get angry sometimes thinking about what people might be thinking about me – I’m too tall, too fat, not funny enough, not good-looking enough, not smart enough, not interesting, too serious, not sensitive enough, not friendly enough, too cynical. And you know? When people treat me bad then I just want to treat them bad back – why don’t they treat me with some dignity? Here’s the thing. Maybe I really don’t care what people think about me, after all. I’ll do what I want to do and when I want to do it – screw them! They are useless anyway. And look at how they treat other people – all uppity-uppity. They are such fakers. Such posers. Well you know what? I don’t care what you think about me and you can pack sand. I don’t need you. You are a waste of my time and my air.
Do you hear me? Did you hear what I said? You jerk. You are such a waste. I said – I don’t care anymore about you or anything. So quit looking at me. Quit talking to me. Leave me alone. I’ll be fine by myself – I don’t need you around. You’re a putz anyway. Got that? I don’t care. Do you hear what I am saying to you? I don’t care what you think about some stupid old movie – your opinions are puke and don’t matter anyway. If you had half a brain you would realize that you are not much more than a piece of dirt. Who cares what you think about the movie? Or anything, for that matter? I don’t need you at all.
Do you hear me? Are you listening? I don’t care what you think. I’ll do it my way. Leave me alone. I never want to see you again. I’m locking myself away in my life and you can’t come in. You are such a big, friggin waste? Do you hear me? It doesn’t matter what you think. Just leave me alone!
I don’t need you.
Do you hear me?