triste ambulant – day 16


“This sickness will not end in death. No, it is for God’s glory so that God’s Son may be glorified through it.” John 11:4


When will God’s Son be glorified?  I miss Regina now but I understand – in my faith – that God is going to resolve and reconcile her passing – I believe her passing will amazingly be seen as simply another mile marker that we will have passed by in our on-going eternal journey.  But when will this milestone of glorification happen?  When will I find relief from this part of the trip?  Where is the rest stop so I can catch my breath?  When will this part of the trip be over? When will my faith be rewarded with something that I can grasp and hold?

I’m sure I’m not alone in asking these questions.  Every day.

Many people through the ages have tried to guess when the next bend in time will come.  We scoff when dates of universal destruction pass – and we are still here commuting and paying our taxes the next day.  I understand the next possibility for doomsday is Thur Dec 20.  Well, let’s hold on to our hats, I guess, and see what happens.

But seriously, for me this life was once loaded with opportunity and never-ending possibility.  I now have a different perspective – it’s a great place to visit but I wouldn’t want to live here!  I’m not taking away, of course, from the beauty and majesty of God’s universe and the blessings that we have like love, joy, peace, and hope.  Let’s enjoy these things while we can.  God gave them to us to enjoy and appreciate.  Thanks, God, that we can enjoy this awesome housing – but I understand that this is temporary lodging.  This is rental property. 

The journey of life

Life has been a mystifying journey

With every up and down

With tears and laughter

With hate and love

With stupidity and wisdom

With enemies and friends

But even in my journey of frustration

I have found a means of celebration

In my toilsome exploration to my fateful destination

Tick tock, the clock goes on

Minute by minute, then hourly

Month by month then yearly

Tick tock, and in my journey

I have searched, questioned and answered

Whilst walking painfully along many paths

Sometimes requesting protection

Seeking from above immunization

When hit by obstacles in locations

But I am still on this journey

Shaking hands with the sad and merry

My passion for life which was once raw

Is now confined within the Almighty’s law

For life’s journey itself never ends

Once you have reached the end of each road

Uplifting off your entire cloggy load

Be it in a hot summer or a winter’s cold

Behold! A new journey will unfold

Sylvia Chidi 

I have come to the same conclusion as this poet.  Even in not knowing what is next, I guess I am mostly content.  I still will ask the questions, but I believe my questions simply cannot be answered in this life.  

I was in a discussion a few days ago – the discussion was mostly about what God does and how he does it based on what we know of him from Scripture.  I thought to myself – how arrogant!  In our pursuit of knowledge for comfort and control, we somehow think we have a handle on who and what God is all about and we can anticipate and we can ‘get ready’ and we can know what is eternally next.  Well, it simply isn’t true.  Other than being able to use colorful metaphors and allegories – as Scripture does – we can’t even begin to use language to describe what eternity is about.  It is inconceivable.

My future is what I can behold in my own mind, and that is to honor God, love neighbor, and respect self.  I don’t need special wisdom to understand these concepts.  But beyond this, I stand bewildered and small.

And I am ok with that.

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