triste ambulant – day 22

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“This sickness will not end in death. No, it is for God’s glory so that God’s Son may be glorified through it.” John 11:4

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Today has been a harder day for me. I won’t spend a lot of your time this evening saying a whole lot – it just isn’t in me. I hope you have had a good day, however.

I spent most of the day sitting in the shadows of events and situations that I don’t have much or any control over. Some is work related and some is simply personal.

I’m thinking of Leah and her whole family who lost their Mawmaw several days ago. I’m sorry and I hurt for you. Truly.

I’m thinking of Karita in Iowa. She is with her mother – her mother made it through open heart surgery a few days ago. I’m thankful.

Being in the car driving today in winter weather reminded me of the time that many of us went to New Jersey for the funeral after Karen lost Lorne back around Christmas in – I think – 2004. Lorne had been sick for a long time and Karen had taken care of him all during his time. (Karen and I talk often – I’m trying to learn from her on how to cope.)

It was good to see Donna yesterday with a smile – albeit through the pain of her replaced hip. I think she will be ok but it will take a lot of patience and therapy and perseverance. She seems to be getting better each day but it will be a long row to hoe.

There are others who are sending out emails requesting prayers – these good people are desperate for health and patience and total healing. I am thankful that this is all in God’s hands.

I am in Frackville, PA this evening. I’m glad to be up here in order to be with friends during a sad time – Anne’s special mom passed away last week and the funeral is on Tues morning. It will be a moving day tomorrow for family, friends, and me. I am thankful that I had a safe trip coming up here – this part of PA is a nice place and I have always enjoyed being here. Prayers for Anne and her family.

Most of the trip up was cloudy, rainy, misty, cold, dark, and very foggy. I ran with my fog lamps for quite some time on I81 in order to cut down on the glare in the fog. Traffic moved not much over 50 mph for some of the trip. But at least it was some quiet time – which I enjoyed.

So, anyway, to finish the day off – I found a place near my hotel for dinner and went in to get something warm and filling. I’m still a bit awkward eating alone in a restaurant only because I feel uncomfortable just sitting at a table staring at people – all of whom are also casting glances at me. Weird. So, I read the menu intently or fiddle with my iPhone and wish the meal would hurry up and get served.

It’s not as bad as it sounds but eating out – for me – has become a quiet event that is now mostly about getting fed. The routine social and sharing aspect is gone now without Regina. I usually eat out by myself solely because I need to eat – it is very utilitarian. (But I enjoy eating with you, of course.)

The nice waitress took good care of me. She was busy with several tables but she took the time to make sure my meal was what I had desired and that I was satisfied with its taste. Thanks.

Then I crumbled.

She had kindly said, “Do you need anything?”

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