Sep 17 8:18pm – The rain and storm has come and I want to be out in it. I jumped in the car about an hour ago and found a low-light spot to watch and listen as the rain rolls in. I just had to roll the windows up – getting a little too damp.
On the way, I drove by the tree into which the young man drove several nights ago – killing two of his young passenger friends. I could make out some posters and flowers left on and at the base of the sturdy tree. I abhor the low price the young man placed on the cost of life all in the name of some late night high speed thrills. He – sitting in jail tonight – must be absolutely crushed. His carelessness, for me, cheapens the investment some of us have made in life and in the living. While I grieve for and with him, it also angers me that he seemingly demonstrated an incredibly callous and arrogant disregard for the pricelessness of life. Another strike against YOLO- ‘you only live once’. Heartbreaking.
Sadly, the crash site is only a few yards distant from another crash site that took the lives of some other young people on Thanksgiving several years ago. They were boozed up. More jail time. More pain and hurt.
And not to pile on, but less than a half-mile away and around the corner from this crash site is the crash site of another carload of young people. They, also, in speed and carelessness, ran into a tree. It is still marked today. It was on a Wed night. I actually was the first to come upon the crash. I called 9-1-1 after touching and listening to one of the survivors mumble about how he had killed his friend. The sparkling glass from the headlights. The grinding sound from the still turning wheel on the upturned convertible car. The cries of anguish from the young man as he collapsed on the side of the road in despair. More death and jail time.
Some of you know these young people and their families and their tragic stories.
I find that I am struggling to balance my empathy for these young men and my anger at them for being so impossibly conceited. God be with us all. I pray that we all can somehow find some semblance of healing and that I will not be judgmental.
Something of a surprise a few moments ago. I was settled here in the car listening to the light rain but also listening to Radiohead. Radiohead! It hit me like a load of bricks after having listened to about half of ‘Ok Computer’ – I’m listening to something other than ambient. For the past three months I literally have not, could not, and would not select and listen to anything other than ambient on my iPod. I’m listening now to Radiohead – and it makes me feel comfortable. What has happened? What has happened?
I did my GriefShare homework a few hours ago. Good and hard stuff. Answering ‘mourning and joy’ questions is harder than it sounds. I’m thankful for my coming weeks of GriefShare. I hope the other participants can heal – I hope we all can a bit.
Again, pray and strive for peace, hug your family while you have them, listen to them intently, and enjoy the raindrops.
Enjoy every little raindrop…