Aug 9 7:53pm – There are so many things I wish I could tell you.
I can cook well enough to sustain myself – I have even had a few guests over to sample my fete. I can pay the bills. I can clean up the house. I can wash and dry the dishes. I can make beds. I can clean the floors. I can sort clothes. I can shop for groceries at the store. I can get prescriptions. I can get the trash out on the right days. I can keep the ice maker from overflowing. I can water the plants. I can set the timer on the stove. I can wash the clothes with your detergent and with your softener. I can dry clothes in the dryer with the smelly little sheet. I can answer the phone. I can vacuum the carpet. I can get the mail. I can arrange flowers. I can make pudding. I can make unsweetened iced tea. I can wash windows. I can cook rice. I can keep the calendar flipped. I can keep fresh towels and washcloths in the bathroom. I can scrub the toilet and shower. I can buy stamps at the Post Office. I can replace light bulbs. I can call the service repairman. I can fill out FSA forms – I can fill out most any form. I can make bank deposits. I can sort out the recycle trash from the normal trash. I can dust. I can buy clothes and shoes. I can replace batteries in the clocks. I can buy nice smelling candles – not the kind that you don’t like. I can eat out with other people – and talk. I can find the lids to the containers. I can find the can opener. I can take clothes to the dry-cleaners. I can keep the pots and pans sorted by type and size. I can buy low-sodium cans of…food stuff. I can write and mail cards to people. I can keep crumbs off of the floor.
I know you. You would giggle, say ‘good grief’, or just roll your eyes – and ask why I didn’t do all of this when you were here.
I know. I really wish now that I had done all of these things much more often and much better and with much less flack – to show you that I could have done them and to have helped you out more and to have shown you just how much I loved you.
I wish I could tell you.