Conversation

Aug 9 7:53pm – There are so many things I wish I could tell you.

I can cook well enough to sustain myself – I have even had a few guests over to sample my fete.  I can pay the bills.  I can clean up the house.  I can wash and dry the dishes.  I can make beds.  I can clean the floors.  I can sort clothes.  I can shop for groceries at the store.  I can get prescriptions.  I can get the trash out on the right days.  I can keep the ice maker from overflowing.  I can water the plants.  I can set the timer on the stove.  I can wash the clothes with your detergent and with your softener.  I can dry clothes in the dryer with the smelly little sheet.  I can answer the phone.  I can vacuum the carpet.  I can get the mail.  I can arrange flowers.  I can make pudding.  I can make unsweetened iced tea.  I can wash windows.  I can cook rice.  I can keep the calendar flipped.  I can keep fresh towels and washcloths in the bathroom.  I can scrub the toilet and shower.  I can buy stamps at the Post Office.  I can replace light bulbs.  I can call the service repairman.  I can fill out FSA forms – I can fill out most any form.  I can make bank deposits.  I can sort out the recycle trash from the normal trash.  I can dust.  I can buy clothes and shoes.  I can replace batteries in the clocks.  I can buy nice smelling candles – not the kind that you don’t like.  I can eat out with other people – and talk.  I can find the lids to the containers.  I can find the can opener.  I can take clothes to the dry-cleaners.  I can keep the pots and pans sorted by type and size.  I can buy low-sodium cans of…food stuff.  I can write and mail cards to people.  I can keep crumbs off of the floor.  

I know you.  You would giggle, say ‘good grief’, or just roll your eyes – and ask why I didn’t do all of this when you were here.

I know.  I really wish now that I had done all of these things much more often and much better and with much less flack – to show you that I could have done them and to have helped you out more and to have shown you just how much I loved you.

I wish I could tell you.

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