Aug 3 9:37pm – I am filling out lots of forms right now that ask lots of questions about many things.  Oddly, I haven’t been asked the following question – until today.

Are you married?  Yes.  No.  Divorced.

The question was not Have you been married? or Do you want to be married? or Are there circumstances about your marriage?  The question is very cold – it must be answered with a Yes or a No.

Can I explain?  Can I fill in a comments section somewhere on this form where I can explain what has happened?  Can I describe what unexpectedly occurred – unforeseen by anyone?  Is there some way to answer this question without answering with either a Yes or No?

I have an idea!  Can you maybe give me a few more answer options on the form?  How about deceased spouse or married for _____ years? Can the question simply be skipped?  Why do you need to know this bit of information?

You see, I don’t want to answer the question in the way that you want me to answer the question.  It’s too stark, evocative, challenging.  I would like to be given the opportunity to explain to you my current status and then you can parse out the answer and I will let you fill in the form.  The question isn’t fair – it shouldn’t be asked of me.  Don’t ask the question.

I’m avoiding the question.  Thing is – and in my heart and through some actions taken – I’ve already answered this question.  I’ve answered not solely because I needed to fill out the form today.  I begrudgingly answered the question a number of weeks ago.  You see, there are sacred responsibilities that exist that require a close-knit and loving married couple in order to fully carry out the responsibilities.  I’ve recognized my limitations due to – yes – a significant and life-changing status change.  

And as much as I don’t want to answer the question, I have.

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