Jul 30 5:15pm – Just got in from a few errands after work.
Picking up the mail is always a love-hate for me. I, of course, need to keep up on matters so the mail must keep coming through! I so much enjoy and appreciate your kind cards and letters and such – it makes my day. Thank you so much. And, of course, I get Regina business.
Today I received – no kidding – catalogs for Regina from Ranger Rick, Orvis, Constructive Playthings, L.L. Bean, and Really Good Stuff. I guess I am slowly catching on that we were quite the economic engine for a few of these companies. I hope that – without Regina – these companies don’t tank!
I also received another update today from the philanthropy office at WHC – all of you are so kind for thinking of Regina and donating to WHC so others can live through the knowledge and skills of the professionals at WHC. It is truly humbling. Thank you.
One of my errands was a run to CVS. Surprise – and I guess due to Regina’s prior purchases – Regina was given a $34 ‘extrabucks’ reward! It expires Aug 16 so I guess I better figure out what I need from the front part of CVS. I’ve never shopped at CVS. Is there good stuff there?
I can only make light of these things – they are all good, of course. But it hides the deeper and sober feel I get when these little things pop up all around me all of the time. We were immersed in each other and trying to get my head above water now to see where I am is taking lots of energy and effort. I guess these reminders will be coming for months and years. I will need to learn to deal with it, I suppose.
After several weeks, I finally finished seven months of prescription FSA claims – Jan through Jul. (FSA is a benefit offered to federal employees. Visit www.fsafeds.com.) This was something Regina always took care of – we had lots of prescriptions to claim every month. It got too much for her back in the spring when she first had to visit Stafford Hospital and after that she never had the chance to catch up. She talked about it but it never got done and I told her not to worry about it.
As I went through and prepared the over 100 claims the last few weeks, I could track her health progression – because of the type of drugs that were being prescribed and by whom and from where – from Jan up through Jun. Our last visit to CVS for Regina meds was on Jun 10 – one day before we got the call for transplant. Dr. Najjar had loaded her up with a new med cocktail when she left WHC on Jun 8 to sustain her until – who would have known so quick? – we got a call for transplant. It was a hefty load of medications consisting of some pretty exotic heart meds but also some pretty plain and basic meds – F, Mg, probiotics.
Anyway, beginning on Jun 22 – two days after Regina passed – I went to CVS to pick up some meds for me. And that is how it has been.
Something like a short film. Lots of details all packed in to a very short and concise story. More than once I recognized my signature for a med – Regina was in the car waiting or we had gone through drive-through. She pumped lots of meds. I’m thankful she doesn’t have to do it anymore. So thankful. It was truly a burden.
I don’t know. I dreaded getting the claims started a few weeks back and it took me several weeks to get them done. I couldn’t work on them too long – too many memories or mind-pictures or remembrances of places, conversations, doctors, therapies. Playing over and over.
A big package of claim invoices was dropped off at the Ruby Post Office late this afternoon – I’m glad they are gone. For the rest of the year, the claims will be just for me.
And so it goes…