No More Patters

Jul 29 9:29pm – I have decided that Sat nights and early Sun mornings are the loneliest times around the house.  I’ve been thinking about this for a few weeks now.

Ever since when, Regina and I and the kids would usually spend Sat nights at home.  It was what we did.  And even if we did go out and do something we did it making sure we were back home in time to get some sleep so we wouldn’t be tired and cranky on Sun.  Usually, Sat nights were something out of a can or some sandwiches or a pizza – something easy to eat and something easy to clean up.  Sat night was always a simple night – but a night when we would all putter around and take care of little things or rest or whatever.  But we almost always were together – she and me.  

And Sun morning was about showering, sorting, dressing, planning the day, preparing for assembly, getting the kids ready, figuring who was going in what car when, and generally being “happy” (you know what I mean), and such.  Again, a seemingly inane activity but now…

It is just quiet.

Dr. Schultz asked me a few days ago if I get lonely.  I had to think.  Then I said yes – when I am expecting the patter of slippers from around the corner.  And they never come.

I’m not feeling down right now as much as I’m somehow (more and more every day) feeling an inevitability.  A sense of destiny.  I feel like I’ve earned the stripes and now I need to go on – but in a very different direction.  

I truly feel closer to eternity now.  The happy and sad experiences that I’ve had so far are relegated to memory – something already experienced and over now.  I know there will be more happy and sad times in the future – for sure – but nothing will ever ever ever be better than what I enjoyed the last 33 years with Regina.  

There will be no more of Regina’s patters down the hall.  But I’m thankful that God let me experience them for as long as he did.  

Truly.

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