Jul 20 12:31pm – Zak and I went to the support group at 12:30pm. I was interested in the people and their stories. The social services people had been so kind to us, too, and they had invited us to the group a number of times so I wanted to make them happy. Besides, it would be a break.

Nick, Laurie, and Bean went for some lunch in the WHC cafeteria. Another way for all of us to spend an hour or two…waiting.

The group meeting wasn’t quite what we had expected. A guest speaker had come who talked about biases and discrimination in the workplace against those recently released from hospital or those with VADs. Good info but I wasn’t quite in tune. And, quite honestly, some of the former patients seemed almost – I don’t know – angry about things. One didn’t like the cost of his meds, a lady felt she had lost a promotion due to her time away from work, and another simply said he was always tired. I don’t think these three were bitter but I do think they definitely were struggling with life issues in spite of having had a transplanted heart or VAD.

I haven’t thought about it much since but I hope these people are doing better now – they seemed disconcerted and unsure. It was, for me, a slightly uncomfortable and maybe even a troubling meeting. Some of the attendees simply sat in silence. Others listened but didn’t share too much – I think they were also somewhat disconnected from the topic of the day.  A few of the caregivers voiced the challenges that they had had to overcome in behalf of their patients. And on top of all of this, a reminder from the facilitator that discrimination in the workplace was illegal, etc., etc., etc.  I actually wanted to hear some positive and encouraging words about life going on in good ways.  It wasn’t to be, unfortunately.  Or maybe it was just me being in the state that I was in.

It was surreal. I was tired. My heart and soul needed feeding. I was concerned about what was happening down in CVRR.

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