A Note

Jun 30 4:45am – “Hey. I’m not sure about today. We always talked about lively songs, good friends, memories. But we never talked about who would be first. I hope we do it well for you today. Your friends have worked so hard to make this special. I’m mostly numb and breathless. Pretty tired, too. Motions. We had a really bad storm through the night. You would have filled the bathtub. Sorry. I didn’t. Next time maybe. The pictures you left us have been turned into the most beautiful thing. Can you see it? Do you like it? I still remember some of those dresses. I miss you so much but I can’t get out of my head that you have no more silly pills, doctor visits, screaming in your sleep, tears and sobs of frustration, fear. I’m so glad you are relieved of all that. So happy for you. But I’m still sad. Well, I will be good for you today as best I can – it’s your party. I love you and miss you and I’m glad it no longer hurts. Say hi to your parents for me. I love you. F.”

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