Arriving

Jun 28 1:05am – Today the families begin to arrive.  I hope that through their time here, we can all bring some kind of limited loving closure to Regina’s passing.  It will be good to have the racket and brouhaha around – but just for a short time, please.  Love all of you.  Lots of little sorting activities yesterday each of which evoked a memory and an emotion.  Lotions.  Pills.  Refrigerator items.  Hospital clothes.  Toothbrush.  Purse.  Store membership cards.  Went to the bank to tie up some items and cancel a few cards – uncommonly difficult, I found.  I am not following any kind of tactical plan here – I somewhat take care of random things in a random fashion but with some intent to – overall – make sure things are safe and sustainable.  I am not in a rush to tackle the big items like closets and the like – I am feeling that these projects may be months and months away for me.  Thanks to the bearer of good Mexican food earlier this evening.  Compared to our conversation, the food was mildly ok.  You know what I mean – you are special and I thank you for your time and sensitivity.  (And – yes – your yummy food was good.)  You will always fill a place in my soul.  And to my special friend – thanks for the coffee items late at night out on the cool and breezy and pleasant deck (of sorts).  Your honesty and frankness is what I need and love about you.  Always have. I hope that we can meet up someday in Espana even while I live near the Iron Curtain and you in the Banana Republics.  And Nick is my bud and we will get through all of this – Death nor Satan will be able to drag us down and kick us in the teeth repeatedly like silly victims.  Thanks, friend.  I’m learning that to minister and to be ministered at are closely linked – one easily and gracefully complements the other.  There seems to be an abundance of grace that spreads all the way around when two people can converse and listen to each other and minister at, for, and toward the other.  Giving is as much a benefit to the loving giver as it is to the thankful receiver.  And receiving good counsel responsibly, of course, affords the receiver a blessing from the sincere giver.  Isn’t this amazing – how God makes graciousness and benevolence work out between two people who are willing to support, love, and listen to each other?  Everyone benefits.  You minister to me – I minister to you.  Thanks to all of you for helping me and I hope that – in your service to me – I can accept graciously and offer you my love, as well.  It has been a week – we keep guiding our boats to the current of life.  As Zak suggested, sometimes I am at the helm and God is in the engine room.  Other times God is at the helm and I am running the engines.  Regardless of who is at what watch-station, however, the craft continues to move forward.  To be associated with this boat crew is a good and comforting thing.

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